Sometimes it hurts instead. -Adele
"Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun, like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now." -Fred Rogers
As I walked to work this morning, I saw all these people with their flowers, wrapped and ready to give to their sweetie. The local bodega had a plethora of flower options available to purchase (I'm sure with a nice little markup....) and I think half the people are thinking: "Screw you!", while the other half are thinking, "Awwww". I had my Muppet valentines that were more appropriate for a five-year-old than a thirty two year old lady. I think Valentine's has become this divisive day. I just think of it as a day of spreading some love. Since it happens to fall on a Tuesday this year, it's just another Happy Tuesday.
I, for one, celebrated
Galentine's Day yesterday and had a wonderful time at my new favorite local place,
The Wayland, with delightful
Emily. I brought some readings from my favorite authors and we had a great night celebrating our friendship.
It's interesting to me, because I think in my romantic relationships, I've always had that side of love that ends up hurting. Maybe this year I'll find a love that lasts instead. A love like my best friendships. Maybe
my boyfriend will get gently sidelined for something real. For now, I'll just put on
In Your Eyes and sing to myself knowing I'll find someone that accepts me right here as I am...all in good time. A dear couple whom I adore, said to me today, "I think that you being single means there can't be a God. How is it possible?!" (and they are good Catholics :)!). I can appreciate all the love I get and give in other ways. I'll find peace in those beautiful words of Kahlil Gibran, those that help me see the joy and the sorrow in love. Each love revealing the secrets of my own heart even more to me.
When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you
may know the secrets of your heart, and in that
knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say,
"God is in my heart," but rather,
"I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
