Bob and Darryl take NYC!

Memorial Day weekend was quite a treat for me. My Mom and Dad came to visit for the first time in years! We had the most wonderful time together. 

I am constantly amazed by my parents. 

Their resilience, kindness & dedication always inspire me. 

Even though I will always miss being able to see them every day, it was so great to have them here and get a better picture of my life and why I love New York so much. They were such troopers! I walked them all over the city, they stayed in my teeny tiny little mouse house (mom even dusted my plants! She's incredible!), they tried all sorts of new foods, met nearly every single neighbor and were constantly up for doing anything. I was so grateful that they were able to come to work with me and meet my boys. I had been telling my boys for weeks that my parents were coming. We talked about 'digging' through the floor in our tendus, just like my dad had to dig and plant my mom's rose garden. 

I have so many wonderful memories from our weekend together. We explored every delicious gluten free restaurant in the city, had a belated birthday at Porsena, Saturday night fun at Upstate.  We did do more than eat...I promise!  I can't really remember a time in my life where I had them all to myself. My relationship with them has grown so much over the years and I now have two of the most incredible people that I can be honest, open, sharing, loving and myself with. They are so important to me. I wonder sometimes if they will ever understand the magnitude of influence they have had on my life. Their continued support and encouragement allows me to be confident living my dreams....as far away from them as those little dreams have taken me. I love them so very much. 

Top 10

This past year has gone by faster than any year I can remember....

It's been a year full of life experiences that I'm so grateful for.

As I sit here thinking about the past year, the mental images flip through my catalogue, much like one of my favorite movies of the year, Like Crazy.

The things that spring up in my mental flip book of 2011:

1. Traveling. By far, one of the best things I've ever done for myself. Southeast Asia was incredible! The people I met, the experiences I had, the food I ate, the culture I witnessed--it was truly amazing. I'm so proud of myself for being brave and going on my personal adventure. I loved the time in Panama with my Dad and Megan. The beach in Puerto Rico was lovely, and I always love visiting my family in CA as well. Traveling still tops my list of favorite things to do.

2. Buying my Nikon 3100. The best gift I've given myself. I was so hesitant to spend such money on myself and I am so glad I did. I take it with me everywhere and people seem to think I take some good shots...I think so too :).

3. Mottos to live by: Ease up, slow your roll. I think this is true in so many aspects of my life. When I walk to work, I try to look up more often. I try to be easier on myself for my mistakes and faults. I try to ease up on expectations of other people and realize that, most times, everyone is just doing the best they can. 

& Saying "YES!". I tried to say yes to every opportunity that came my way. Yes to spending time with people I adore. Yes to new friendships. Yes to living every day the best I could. It is amazing what happens when you just open yourself up like that. I don't know if my social calendar has ever been so busy...I saw more shows, museums, dance, music & movies than I have in my entire life!

4. My boys. I realize every day how lucky I am that I go to "work" every day and it never feels like "work". I love my kiddos so much. I have my dream job. How many people get to say that?!

5. Friendlies: This year, I've expanded my friend circle larger than ever. In high school, I was voted friendliest. There is this great dorky picture of me in the yearbook holding a big sunflower that I think I had brought to school that day. I like being friendly. It helps me when I travel and I find it's always better to be kind to people you meet. My mom always said to consider myself lucky if I could fill up one hand with good, close friends. Now I realize how right she was. I come back to the realization that I can count on one hand the people that I can depend on no matter what. Although I love all of my friend circles there are few people that I can open up to completely and let them see all the way through me. Those people I can call at midnight, they listen to me through tears, they build me up and bring out the best in me.

6. My neighborhood. Goodness, I could not ask for a better place to live. I think my office mate, Merideth's, serendipitous glimpse at a Craigslist ad for my apartment was her best assist yet. I love my little mouse house of a home--surrounded by Kermit, my favorite photos on the walls, my indoor garden, listening to my fave 2011 album, 21, while baking in my teeny tiny kitchen--I love that it's all mine.  The amazing Immigrant filled with it's cast of characters who brighten my days & nights has been a blessing all year. From celebrating so many important life events (including birthday spank trains) to enjoying the quiet moments of a catch up conversation on the street, that little bar has been a key to my sanity this year and also provided me with such a sense of belonging. Every day I walk down my quaint block, seeing the Christmas lights, I think of how lucky I really am.

7. Family. Family. Family. These are my people, people! My mom and dad continue to be a source of inspiration, comfort and humor. Our family is always a boisterous group that takes turns while reenacting stories, cooking dinner where pterodactyls come out to play, and my dad tells me he can kick some one's ass if I want him to. Watching my brother become a father and my sister a wife has made me realize the huge amount of growth they've had. Delving into our family history has been a really interesting project for them this year. Our Cherokee, Choctaw, Italian, French, Dutch, German (oh, and there's more) heritage seems to bring this exciting little mystery component that my mom and dad love digging through.

8. Ineffable. I always tend to enjoy process more than product. I love working with Deb and Candice and this year was no exception. For me, Deb's work is always very intimate and personal.  I still often think about this year's work in relation to my life. The intimacy between two people. The give and take of relationships. The unspoken ways in which we show love. The dance of communication that is a constant balancing act in relationships. It's always been a cathartic time of year for me when I get to work with Deb and this year was no exception. She is a master of her craft. She is a visionary that always remains true to herself. She is unique and on a quest for authenticity. I respect her so much.

9. Blogging. I began the Summer of Tammi as a personal project to return to caring for myself. I have loved having an outlet to share what's happening in my life. I never know if people actually enjoy reading it and catching up virtually, but I think the important part for me has been that I've loved taking part in it. Creating Happy Tuesdays for my found quotes and being a part of DIYDancer has also been a nice outlet for my baking.  Which leads me finally to...

10. Baking! I still wonder if the idea of the Happy Tuesdays enterprise is still a possibility...perhaps someday. I've considered a Happy Tuesday Treats Truck that twitters its way around NYC. For me, it's really the act of sharing the baked goodies that makes me so happy. I love the unexpected reactions of surprise that people have when I walk down my block with a plate of cookies. It's been a way to connect & bring a small glimmer of happiness into the lives of total strangers and the people I care about. 

It's been a year of break-ups for the best, running in the hurricane, celebrating my mom's 50th, watching friends get engaged and married, my brother and sister graduating, my family expanding, dancing on bars and in cars and on stage, sharing moments that I fondly remember with a smile on my face. I have enjoyed my solo time this year, but I also realize how much I love sharing my life with a special person. Thank goodness I've got a whole life full of you! Thank you for being part of my life and helping me create these memories that I love.

Here's to letting go in 2012 and enjoying the moments as they come. 

Fave 20

Thanks to the good 'ol Facebook, some of my darlings recommended some children's books for me. Thanks to the genius of my amazing mom, I spent the best 20 minutes of my day with my nephew. She had this great idea that I could read bedtime stories to little Huddy when he was at their house! Genius! We had an agreed upon time and we tried to FaceTime so I could read to him after his bath. Now, it's not as easy as those commercials make it seem. But after 15 attempts, I somewhat read Huddy Goodnight Moon, watched him play ball, and had tears streaming down my face the whole time. I'll have a date with you any time Hudson. My boyfriend won't even mind! Gosh darn it, why does CA have to be so far away from NYC!? Tell me the best 20 minutes of your day!

I miss my family. Sniffle. 

Grateful Grazies-Bob & Darryl

I have two notes in my Teeny Tiny Kitchen; one from each of my parents.

"Tammi-I just wanted to say Thank You. 

Being your mother is one of my greatest joys in life. 

I LOVE YOU. You are wonderfully made. 

Have a wonderful day. Love Mom".

"It's said that all a man has in life is what he leaves behind.

 I leave behind the most wonderful things in the world. 

My kids.

 I love you, Dad".

My mother and father are two of the people I admire most in my life. They met and married when they were just 14 & 17 and I cannot even begin to fathom how they have remained devoted to one another and our family after all these years.

When I was younger, I fully believed I was adopted. I somehow got it in my head that I was the lost princess of somewhere fabulous in Italy (this could be true...my Dad found on our ancestry.com that many of our relatives are Italian! Whoohoo! Where's my castle?). Growing up in a family where all my siblings were blondies, I couldn't fathom that I was part of it all (that and I was just stubborn and thought it was funny). Now, I see just how much a part of each of my parents I really am. I somehow inherited their best qualities and I am so proud to be a part of the family that I belong to.

They both grew up being very self-sufficient. They have always owned their own successful businesses and have worked side by side for over thirty years. They didn't really rely on anyone growing up beyond each other and went through the ups and downs of life, figuring things out along the way.

My mother is one of the most positive people I know. She was most likely the impetus behind Happy Tuesdays, when I think back on it. When I was younger, I remember being baffled by my mother's ability to always see the best in every situation. We would tease her and call her Pollyanna. She is truly an eternal optimist and I'm proud to share that quality with her. I now see what she's known all this time: It's really not worth wasting time being negative. Better just put a smile on your face and get through the rough patches the best you can. Her patience is never ending. I can remember her teaching me to drive my manual Cabriolet in the school parking lot--me trying to figure out the clutch and her never getting upset, antsy, or angry. Just letting me figure it out and gently coaxing and coaching me along the way. She's continued to do this throughout my life and I'm so grateful for it.

My father has set the bar so high for someone in my life being a Man. He is someone who gets his joy in life from helping other people.  He is the hardest worker I know. He has always seen his value in his work but I see it in the person that he is and how he treats people. He is always willing to help someone and do whatever he can for them.  He has the best instincts and street smarts--more than anyone I know. He is so good at reading people and can often suss out people's true intentions. He is person of integrity and honesty. His dedication and discipline are qualities I admire in him and have tried to emulate in my own life. Despite his quiet side, he has an incredibly fun demeanor. Some of my fondest memories are my dad and I roaring at 100 miles an hour in his shiny black Mustang, on our way to karate, blasting Rosanne Cash, me with the biggest grin on my face.

Many years ago, I took to calling my mom Bob. Apparently when I said "Mom" it came out sounding like "Bob". I have no idea how I loved the Newton show so much, but I decided to call my dad Darryl. The names stuck somehow and I affectionately remember that time and my Bob and Darryl. This Grateful Grazie is to thank them.

Bob & Darryl:
Thank you. Thank you for being a constant sense of support and encouragement in my life. Thank you for putting up with me when I've floundered, when I was in a teenage snit and couldn't appreciate all you were doing for me, when I've been too wrapped up in my own life to make a phone call. Thank you for seeing my mistakes, watching them, but having the wisdom to let me make them--knowing that's the only way I would grow and learn. Thank you for supporting all my decisions. I know it can't be easy to watch your daughter do all sorts of crazy things that you can't understand--to have her move across the country, live abroad, date some major d-bags (yes you know this word)...I am so grateful that you know just when to give me advice, the space that I need, or love that I'm needing. Thank you for being there when I cry. You have both been there for me in my darkest moments, sometimes not saying anything, just holding me and listening to me. You've also been there to celebrate my biggest achievements. I am so grateful to have parents that I know are always there for me. You may not agree with my decisions or thoughts, but you still respect me and support me. You told me to follow my dreams and do something I love. You never pressured me to be something you wanted. You had a constant message of being what I wanted. Thank you for giving me every opportunity you could think of and for showing me what it truly means to be a good person. I know that you always did your best, and you continue to do so. I try to live my life this way--giving my best in every situation, to every person, every relationship, every moment. My admiration for you and my gratefulness grows each day. Your commitment to one another and to your family is something I will hope to have one day with my own little family. Thank you for not letting distance or time keep us apart. Despite the fact that Granite Bay, CA is long way away from NYC, I feel closer to you more now than ever before. I love you both so much and I will continue to try to live a life that you are proud of and an integral part of. Thank you for being the best parents that I could imagine. Thank you for being you. You are amazing.

Dad's Garden

I'm so proud of my family and their healthy eating adventures. Ever since I found out I have a bazillion food allergies, they have become very conscientious about their food. They love watching food documentaries (Food Inc., King Corn, Super Size Me) and have this season planted their own organic garden from seed, belong to a CSA and bought a share of a grass fed cow in the area! Hannah Banana! How fantastic!

Spinach

Pop gathering his goods

zucchini flower and ladybug

kale

spinach salad

monster zucchini